Don't Waste Your Suffering

Phillipians 129 "For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for Him."

"So suffering is like a sand blasting machine that strips away my fear, anxiety self-centeredness complaining and "I don't care" attitude  toward others who hurt. "

      

      Our family just moved from North Carolina to Macon, Georgia. We loved college (My husband and I met in Macon and that's where we went to college.) but we never thought we'd be back here but God had different plans:)! God has given us abundantly more than we could ever ask for and I will write about the details soon! It has been wonderful to be back but very different from college! I mean college was almost 20 years ago! Macon has changed and we have changed. 

      It is our first "real" house that we're hopefully staying for a long time! It's so fun and I'm grateful to have a house where I don't run into the walls:)! However it is been hard to sit in a chair while others put my house together. My family has never made me feel that way and they always ask me where I would like things but it is hard not to feel inadequate. I know that my feelings are a lie from Satan but I still struggle! I want to be able to arrange my kitchen or put pictures in the family room! 

Our sufffering exposes our sin and our desperate need for Christ. I become so defensive because I want to do it in my own house but I cannot. I focus on my suffering and become bitter instead of focusing on how every detail of the house is being provided. Instead of being thankful for the people who took their time to make this house a home. It is hard and trust me at times I know that I'm no peach to be around:).

      I have heard before the places around your house remind you of all of God's provisions. I am reminded to pray for that person and be thankful for the way they provided in my life. For example my father-in-law put up our lights so when I look at my really cool light in the family room (it is super cool and I really love it:)) He also did so many things that it is hard to mention all that he did around our house!!! I am reminded of my father-in-law and his love for our family. I am reminded to pray for him. My mother-in-law put the kiddos rooms together and their bathroom. She arranged our pictures in the family room for me . My mom arranged our kitchen and we have a lot of kitchen stuff!! She unpacked our china and arranged our china cabinet . My dad unpacked and arranged the kid's playroom and unpacked many of the boxes outside. We had a sweet friend from my parents church who helped my father-in-law put the beds together and much, much more ! We had a another sweet friend from our church who put much of my daughters room together. 

      I could waste this! I could focus on the fact that it's my house and I want to put things together or I could be grateful for God's provision and my family and friends willingness to put our house together. 

I am  in desperate need of Christ  every hour, well really every second to remind me of the privilege this suffering is and my opportunity to trust him and show him at work in my life. My prayer for you is that you don't waste the suffering in your life and trust him in the midst of the struggle to use it for good!!

Beyond Me Toby Mac Lyrics - YouTube

Obedience

I tell my children all the time to obey the first time. Why do I want them to obey the first time?  Well, because I'm their mother and I said so:)... but hopefully they've also seen in ME reasons why they would want to obey. They obey because they trust me. My children know that I have their best interest at heart. They know that I'm older than them and that I know a little bit more than they do (most of the time). Also, I want my children to say “Please” and “Thank you” and “Yes, ma’am" and “No, ma’am" (I'm from the South; we have to say ma'am). I want them to show respect not only for me but for all authority. There are grownups in their lives other than their dad and I, and my children should show respect. 

More than respect for me, I want their obedience to stem from my love for them and their love for me. They don't always obey (shocking I know) and there are consequences when they don’t, but I don't stop loving them because of their disobedience. My love for them grows deeper and their love for me grows deeper as our relationship grows deeper. There are rules that need to be followed, but I want my children to know me as their mom and not as their task master. 

    

God is not our taskmaster, He is our Father. He desires a relationship with us. We are His children and He is our creator. It would break my heart if my own child did not want to have a relationship with me or if they followed all the rules and were "good" but had no relationship with me. A relationship with someone means that we spend time with them. We don't just know of them but we KNOW them. We know their likes and dislikes. We know their voice. We want to spend time with them and learn more about them. Psalm 1 says that those who obey God's word are "like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit in each season.”

We are God's imago dei, made in His image. We are His children and He wants what is best for us. Our obedience and the choices we make spring from our reliance on God and His word. It's not always what we want BUT it is why we are taught to obey, to trust, and to love the One who made us. 

"But they delight in the law of the Lord meditating on it day and night" Psalm 1:3

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things." Galatians  5:22

“Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”  James 1:23-25 (NIV)

Love & The Outcome - The God I Know (Official Music Video) - YouTube

Don't Be A Blessing Blocker

So today I fell out of my wheelchair... at the park... on a play date with my daughter. Can I say so embarrassing??? I was excited to go on a play date with my daughter and her friend and her mom. I was going to be a "normal" mom. However, the concrete slanted and my wheelchair went off the path instead of going straight, and I went with it into the dirt. So many people came running to help me and my daughter just kept saying, "Please help my mommy." I put my sunglasses on quickly so no one would see my eyes tearing up as people put me back in my wheelchair and pushed me back up onto the concrete. One sweet lady said, "Oh my goodness, dear. You tore a hole in your jeans." I assured her that I had not  because I had just bought them that way:). My daughter told several of the people, "Thank you for helping my mommy." It was very sweet and of course I was grateful for the people and grateful for my daughter's reaction. But once again I was embarrassed... I just wanted my daughter to be on the playground and not have to worry about her mommy. I wanted to be a "normal" mommy and not draw attention to me. 

Have you ever heard the saying "the struggle is real, y'all"? Well, it's real! I felt like saying that this past weekend!! During communion last weekend, we did intinction where we dip the bread into the juice. People go up to the front but of course I could not. The pastor said that the deacons would bring the bread and juice to those of us who had to stay seated, and of course they would, but again I just didn't want to draw attention to myself. I was embarrassed. I didn't want to embarrass my kids (although I'm not sure if they would've cared:)). So I just sat there and let the tears roll down my cheeks because I was just tired of the fight. I was just tired of all the many things that I used to take for granted and that were just so hard now. I should have let my mom or my friend wave the usher down because they wanted too. It was dark inside the sanctuary so fortunately no one but my mom and my friend sitting next to me knew about the tears. 

    Recently, one of my sweet friends told me to stop being a blessing blocker and let her help. I came home from church and started to throw a pity party for myself when I realized two things. One is that communion is not about me and two, that I was being a blessing blocker. When I fell out of the wheelchair at the park there were so many people that came over to help and I know so many people that witnessed the little incident:). It encouraged me just to see how many people came over to help but it also really encouraged me to see how my daughter reacted. She told everyone that I was her mommy and she thanked them for helping me. Who knows how it might have encouraged someone else? Or the incident during communion? I'm sure it will help people to see those who are unable to go up front more clearly or notice the needs of others that might need help. In this culture we don't always look out for the other person, so I challenge all of us to keep our eyes and ears open and when you need help, accept it! Do not be a blessing blocker:)!

Remembrance (Communion Song) - Matt Redman - YouTube

Blessings - Laura Story (with lyrics) - YouTube

My Tattoo... An Explanation

 " My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore I will gladly boast about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

     I read something recently by one of my heroes, Joni Erickson Tada, where she said her wheelchair is her pulpit. She is not her wheelchair but she uses her suffering and her circumstances to preach the gospel and tell others about Jesus. MS is my pulpit. It does not define me and it is not who I am however it is a circumstance that my family has been given and I want to use it as my pulpit. 

    So I got a tattoo as one of my birthday presents. I've wanted one for quite a while but was unsure what to get, and well it's kind of permanent:). I decided on the word  grace. Grace is defined as the free and the unmerited favor of God manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. Grace also means to honor or give credit to someone or something by one's presence. 

   There are three reasons I chose  the word grace. In Ephesians 2:8-9 the Bible says, "for by grace you have been saved through faith, not of yourself. It is a gift from God not by works so that no one should boast." When I see the word grace on my wrist I am reminded of what Jesus did for me and for you. I am reminded that salvation is not going to be taken away from me. It is a gift not anything I need to do but accept it.

    When I look at my wrist and the word grace I am also reminded to give grace to others. There is so much I need help with and it is hard not to become bitter and take it out on others. I know that my family and friends are trying to help me and trust me I am grateful. However it is hard to accept so much help sometimes with a gracious heart. I want to fill out the paperwork for my children at school. I want to teach them to tie their shoes and run and play soccer instead of watch them. This is when I need to be reminded of the grace that has been given to me and show grace to others. Each person is the Imago dei, made in the image of Christ. Well there are many times I would gladly give this disease back, it is my pulpit and I am grateful.

   It is also hard to have grace for myself at that moment. I feel inadequate as their mother because I want to help them and I cannot. It is hard to have grace for myself and accept my limitations when I get in a downward spiral of discouragement. That is when I look at my wrist and remember the grace that is greater than all my sin and I am grateful. 

THIS GLORIOUS GRACE

Pointing them to Jesus

"In the same way let your light shine before others so that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16

    

Trust me, when it comes to parenting I have no clue what I'm doing most of the time. There are a few ideas, though, that I've either read about or created on my own that we have added into our family routine and I’d like to share them with you… 

I heard someone ask the question recently, “How can I be a light in someone else's life today?” Our family verse is Matthew 5:16 (see above) and almost every morning I try to ask that question to my children. We pray about it and before they go to school, we gather in the driveway, put our hands on top of one another, and I tell them: “Your mission today is to let your light shine for Jesus at your elementary school, on the bus, and where ever else you might go today.” We yell “Team Dumpe!” and then we walk (or ride 😉) down to the bus stop. 

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To put both the kids and I in a better mindset for the day, I like to quietly play music such as Bethel Kids Worship or my own worship playlist as my kids get ready for school and while they are helping with breakfast. 

Some of the songs from my worship playlist that my kids love:

Ready or Not (Britt Nicole)

Lights Shine Bright (Tobymac)

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When my kids were younger (and sometimes even now), we put on the armor of God and pretend to shake the fruit of the Spirit over us. Now, as they are older, I pray for the armor of God and the fruit of the Spirit to cover us as we go to school or wherever we go throughout the day. At dinner they usually tell us, especially my daughter, how they let their light shine that day: We hear how they were kind to someone who was not kind to them or my daughter will decide to make cards for people and plan to pass them out to EVERYONE! We love hearing about the fruit of the Spirit being lived out in our kids’ lives.

     

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One of the ministries I love is Compassion International. If you have not heard of them I encourage you to check out their website for more information. Their mission is to “release children from poverty in Jesus' name.” Each of our children has a child that we sponsor. Our children are encouraged to write letters and to pray for their specific sponsored child and family. When the child writes letters to us or information is sent from Compassion, we have jars for each sponsored child where we can keep the information. 

   

Sponsor a Child with Compassion International, Inc.

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I really want our children to remember many of the memories they have made as they grow up. One night my family watched the movie "Inside Out" and while watching the movie, I came up with this idea. Each child was given a bag full of marbles and a Mason jar. When they do something special or something is done for them and they want to remember it, they put a marble in the jar. Hopefully, as they grow up and fill the jar with marbles, they will have many memories to take with them. 

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These are just some ideas to get our focus and our eyes fixed on Jesus daily and not on ourselves. I want my kids to see that we need Jesus every day. I want them to see a real relationship with Jesus in their mama and my desire to share His love with others. My husband and I pray that they will become independent faithful followers of Jesus.

~ Haley

Calling Her Blessed

"Her children arise and call her blessed" Proverbs 31:28
 

We just celebrated Mother's Day. It was an absolute joy to spend it with my mom. I haven't been able to spend this holiday with her in 10 years,  because of my husband's job circumstances. I was listening to a podcast with Christy Knockels and she said called her mom a fierce warrior of prayer. I realized as she was talking about her mom that she was also my mom. I am blessed because both my mom and my mother-in-law are fierce warriors of prayer for their family. 

    My mom has been a pastor's wife for 46 years and a mom for almost 37. There is a lot of pressure that comes with being a pastor's wife and a lot of joy too! She has handled her role with grace. She taught school during the day and after a long day made dinner and ironed our clothes  (which I'm sorry mom, only my brother still does:)). She would always make sure that our house or car was locked and she always made sure that everything was in its place when we left . She always made sure we had snacks and had gone to the bathroom before we left the house :). However more importantly I saw her on her knees. She has a prayer journal and I saw it open almost every day.  She prays every day for her family and many, many, many other situations. Many of the different things that I do with my children are because I saw the importance of teaching them with intentionality. 

   Both my mother-in-law and my mom have taken on roles for my family that I never wanted for them. I want them just to be able to be Gran and Grammy and they do a wonderful job of loving and spoiling their grandchildren.

But they have done SO MUCH more for my family.

My husband is finishing up his medical training and this has been a very busy year!  They've taken turns being here to help me throughout this year. They have sacrificed time with their husbands and their friends! They have done countless loads of laundry and dishes. They have helped me sort and organize my children's clothes and toys endlessly! They have packed children's lunches and made us dinner. They have taken care of me. When I was too weak to sit up or walk a little they have helped me. There are too many things to list that have done for our family!We are grateful. We are blessed. Thank you for teaching us what it means to love your family unconditionally. We love you!

Determination

"Truly I tell you if you have faith even as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, move from here to there and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." Matthew 17:20

"I want to be able to do it myself!!!"

I realize that I sound kind of like a two-year-old who doesn't get their way, but I'm so tired of needing so much help. God always provides, and I know He does, but I want to be able to do it myself. It feels like I need help with everything!!

I woke up very early this morning and turned on my kitchen lights to find little tiny ants all over the floor of my kitchen. I feel like there was about 1 million although I'm sure that's exaggerating a little bit:). I rode around in my wheelchair with spray and a paper towel in my lap. Soon, it was time to wake up the kids. By Thursday, morning they are tired of getting up early so they were fighting and grumpy. I wanted to teach them about the word determination since we did that at church last night for the kids. 

Determination = deciding it is worth it to finish what you started. 

I told them that as kindergartners and a third grader it was time to finish the year with determination. It was time to finish their year with the best although they were tired and did not feel like doing much of anything. I thought I was teaching them, but I realized after they got on the bus, that I was teaching determination to myself as much as I was teaching it to them. 

As I've written many times before: this life is hard. I don't know about you, but many times I want to give up and definitely not finish with my best. Ephesians 6:10-18 describes the armor of God. Every morning, when school first started, the kids and I put on the armor of God. We put on the helmet of Salvation, the belt of Truth, the shield of Faith, the breastplate of Righteousness, the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God, and the gospel-ready boots or shoes of Peace. My kids like to put on their gospel-ready sandals or gospel-ready tennis shoes:). I'll be honest and tell you that many times now we are rushing out the door to get to the bus, and I don't say anything about the armor of God. My kids may be putting it on, but their mama is not teaching them or reminding them to. I want my kids to finish this year and to finish this life with determination. 

I want to finish this life with determination. 

That means that I need to trust that God gives us what we need to keep going and make sure that we are putting on the armor of God and "standing firm against the devil's schemes."  My prayer for you is that you will decide it's worth it to finish what you start with determination and the armor of God. 

Walk By Faith - YouTube