Broken Vessels

I'm tired. Sometimes I tell my husband that it feels like Groundhog Day. Before my feet hit the floor I start to think my body is going to work better. My left foot is not going to be frozen anymore, my toes are going to wiggle! There won't be anymore dizziness. My left arm is stronger and my hand is not curling up. Then, the realities of MS start to sink in: almost constant vertigo; a very stiff left leg and left arm, make showering and putting on clothes very hard; a left foot that still won't move.  All are in full effect. This constant drain makes me bitter and discouraged. I know Satan wants me to feel this way. He wants you to feel that way too. He uses the circumstances of our life to put us in a downward spiral... a downward spiral of uselessness.

 Why am I here? 

What is my purpose? 
 
When I begin to question my purpose, I put the focus on myself. However, it is not about me. It is not about you. We are His vessels. Broken, yes, but vessels usable to God. When I surrender my plans to the Lord, He is glorified. He takes our weaknesses and failures and turns them into treasures. Second Corinthians 4:6-7 says we now have the light of Jesus shining in our hearts and we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure of light in order to make it clear that our great power is from God, NOT from us. He takes our pain, our struggles, our disabilities and uses them to "let the light shine out of darkness" to minister to others. Trust me, I'm not saying I like MS. I REALLY, really, really don't most days; however I am humbled that God can use this crummy disease to shine His light to others. My prayer is that we will let God's light and love shine through us. We are His broken vessels.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good." Genesis 50:20

"Broken Vessels" by Hillsong